Giving Yourself Permission

We did an exercise the other day about what your challenge gave you permission to do. Now it is time to see if you can give yourself that permission so that your challenge or struggle is not continuing to benefit you in some way. 

In my case, the general pattern was that not falling asleep quickly and being tired the next day was giving me permission to treat myself (extra meditations, a lazy TV night) and to not be as productive as I otherwise may have been (not as many projects, taking less initiative). So I am going to give myself permission to do an extra meditation at least once a week (whether I feel I ‘need’ it or not) and take some downtime to just read.  I am also going to check in with myself when I have projects to do and see if its feel right in the moment to do them. So I am giving myself the luxury of not pushing myself for the sake of getting something done or being productive.

I invite you to look at the permission items you wrote down last week and see what commitments you would like to make. Maybe it is about putting your needs first or spending money on health related items or services that sometimes feel like a luxury (ex. a massage or organic food) or maybe you need to give yourself permission to sometimes simply be, to slow down, to say no to an invitation and get off the hamster wheel of always doing, achieving or producing. Whatever permission you decide on, please know that this is an important step and that some pampering and extra self-love may be needed to help you through your challenge.

Next week we will take a closer look at complete acceptance of your struggle and how this can be a very beneficial step. Until then, enjoy treating yourself – you deserve it!

Jackie

What are your challenges bringing you?

Challenges often bring us down but today I want to offer you a new way of looking at them.  What if every challenge in your life came with a gift?  A gift because they encourage you to ask new questions, to really explore and get insights that otherwise may have been left undiscovered. With this in mind, I am going to try to fully accept and even welcome my challenge (of not being able to fall asleep quickly) so I can shift from frustration to curiosity and start to uncover its meaning or purpose in my life.

To explore the gift in my challenge I am going to start by asking what my challenge is giving me permission to do as well as not to do?
It is giving me permission to:

• Do my daily meditations.  I am often reminded and make sure I find time for them when I feel fatigued.
• Do extra meditations. Sometimes I sneak in an extra meditation when I feel I did not sleep enough. I would not normally ‘treat’ myself to an extra meditation unless I felt I could somehow justify it. 
• Sleep in.  Sometimes I will sleep in a little later if I feel I have not slept enough (again ‘treating’ myself to a few extra minutes of sleep).
• Be lazy! I might watch TV because I don’t feel up for doing something more productive.

Permission not to do:

• Not be as proactive and productive as I could be. I have to admit that I would probably be more productive in my business if I had an extra hour of sleep per night.
• Put off projects.  In the same vein, I tend to put off doing projects at home if I am feeling tired.

So I invite you to fully accept and start to be curious as to what gift your challenge may be bringing you.  Permission to work less? To put your needs first? Permission to not attend or not get involved in certain activities? Next time we will explore the notion of giving ourselves permission to do some of the things we listed.

Sometimes our struggles give us temporary permission to do things (like take time off work, or not see certain people) and this can be very helpful but if you continue to benefit in some way, a subconscious part of you will want to hold to the challenge and that is one reason that patterns start to develop in our lives, because they actually serve us in some way.  For those of you starting my small group coaching on Tuesday we will be taking an even deeper dive and will learn another somewhat shocking truth about challenges and why they appear in our lives. 
Enjoy exploring!
Jackie
 
PS: Monday Jan.19th. is your last chance to sign up for my small group coaching sessions.

Your Ah-ha Moment

I can't guarantee it but I think if you participate in my 2105 Challenge you may come up with an ah-ha moment that can really help you make a positive shift in your life.  As I was writing this blog post and working through my own challenge I had my first ah-ha moment.  

First a quick reminder that the 2015 Challenge involves picking one challenge or struggle that you are currently facing and want to overcome. 

My challenge is that it often takes me a long time to fall asleep at night so I end up not getting enough sleep and feeling tired the next day. I find this frustrating and annoying. But...when I step back and look at the situation I have to admit that there are a lot of things that I do everyday that affect my ability to fall asleep quickly. Like when I work or am on the computer late or have tea or dark chocolate later in the day or simply have too much on the go and therefore too much on my mind!  I have also had this challenge for a long time so I have started identifying myself as someone who does not fall asleep quickly. 

Here is where my ah-ha moment comes in.  As I was realizing that I have control over almost everything that helps me fall asleep quickly, a phrase come to mind that I often use in my coaching; busy people make decisions everyday that keep them (overly) busy.  Okay, time to walk my talk! I just have to insert my challenge in the phrase; I make decisions everyday that keep me from being able to fall asleep quickly!  Or tired people make decisions everyday that keep them feeling tired!

So if I am actually creating or orchestrating my own challenge (tell me it is not so), then the question becomes Why am I doing this?  Next time we are going to explore this question together.  In the meantime please do the following exercise or schedule some time to do it over the next week.

1. My challenge or struggle is:
2. How does it make me feel?
3. What role I am playing in the creation or continuation of my challenge or struggle?
4. Create an affirmation (a statement of what you would like to be true but describe it in the present tense): I fall asleep quickly and easily!
5. Write your affirmation on a Post-it, put it somewhere you can see it everyday and repeat it several times a day.

Please share your answers and any ah-ha insights you may have with your buddy or with me (see comments section below).

Jackie

PS: anyone who would like support in terms of the 2015 Challenge and in terms of gaining more clarity and becoming more spiritual in 2015 please sign up for my small group coaching course starting January 20^th.  Sign up before January 13^th and get a $20 savings.